When did this happen and where was I?

Cj turned 16. I can't help thinking his feet are more than firmly planted on the closer side of 20...and I ask myself "When did this happen and where was I"? I used to get the cute" oh, enjoy these little ones, the time goes by so fast" kind of comments in the store and I would nod my head with a weak smile and look at my shopping cart that was more loaded with kids than groceries...fast forward a few years...here I am wishing time would slow to a crawl and let me rewind just a bit...He started driving...now let me just say here is a somewhat short list of things you should have handy when he gets behind the wheel for the first time...
1. Bike helmet( its a matter of time before we get hit)
2. Bull-horn...apparently, my yelling"STOP! USE the BRAKE" is not loud enough..use the bull-horn for your own safety.
3. super strong deoderant...I have never sweat before in my life until now.
4. Thesaurus- try to find substitutions for the truck driver language that you have somehow adopted..
5. tinted windows- No one can know its your child driving this out of control..oh, it helps not to have DALANDS on your license plate!!!really? what was I thinking?
6. "SAVE YOURSELVES!"should be your new family motto...
7. Good insurance on your garage door...not that I would know about that...
Lets just say if I skipped my next weave, my hair would be a snow white...